Good morning! I am emailing regarding my Sobriety story. The account on ASKTHEMESSENGERS on twitter told me to share with you!! My name is Jenna. I am 29 years old from mobile, al. On Oct, 9 2019 I hit my 1 year of sobriety. My hope is to help others, and share my story.
I didn’t grow up like many typical “users”. I had a very good childhood. I graduated high school with a full softball scholarship, after I received my associates degree i then joined the military.. that’s when things kind of started. I was sexually assaulted in 2011 only after being in the military for a year and a half. After I came home I dappled here and there with pain pills. I liked them but wasn’t addicted. When I was 24 I decided to move 4 hours away from home to start over in a little town called Columbiana. When I first got there I was doing well. I was teaching (substitute) at the schools in the area. But all that changed when I met Tommy. He was handsome, funny, charming. He had a little “bad boy” reputation but I was let prepared for what was to come. I fell for him what seemed like overnight. He didn’t have a permanent residence but he assured me we would be safe and he asked me to come with him. I had no knowledge of “street life” and so I was excited and “in love” so I agreed, gave up everything I had to go with him. That’s when my whole life turned around. I didn’t know at the time how big into the “dope game” he was. It seemed overnight that I had lost it all. I was now living basically out of my car, not knowing when I’d eat, or sleep, or shower. Relying on tommy to sell drugs to get us a room for the night. At this time I was sober. Tommy liked uppers (meth) and I never tried it and so I was just around all of it. 5 months of seeing the craziest things, more drugs Than I could imagine, running from police, Tommy completed 2 house armed robberies, and I felt so stuck. I begged him to change. I was scared. He would get high and stay up for days and think I was trying to leave and freak out on me. I had loaded guns put to my head many times, been pinned down, had to stay in the most nastiest houses and be around people that looked like zombies. Girls prostituting them self’s and I seen men (pimps) hurt these women and force them to do things. I finally said enough was enough after 5 months and I left. I went back to mobile and I was going to start over. But I was sad. I loved Tommy and I saw the good in him. After a few weeks he told me he would stop. Asked me to come back and we would go live at his moms and he would get clean and do right. So, of course, I did. When I got there it was good for a while. He had a job, I got back into the school, his mom ended up moving and allowed us to rent out the trailer we were in. I thought it was going to be ok. But, it got worse. Tommy came home from work one day and told me he had a surprise for me. He said that he knew I would like it… he pulled out a bag with brown powder in it, drew out 2 lines, and said “I got this so we could both enjoy getting high, this is an opiate and I won’t stay up for days and this is just for us to have fun with, this is heroin”.. I’ll admit I was scared bc heroin was supposed to be a drug that killed people.. but I’ll admit I was kind of excited bc I hadn’t gotten “high” in a very long time and I just thought it would be fun! But that one night turned into a year and a half of using heroin every single day after that. We maintained jobs and paid bills, but addiction took over full swing. We would fight if we got “dope sick” and my nose got broken and it was out of control at times. But when we were both “high” it felt amazing. And I kept trying to tell myself that I was “functioning” due to me still working and we had a house and paid bills. So it was ok, right?? Wrong. Tommy overdosed on me one night. I got him to the hospital 2 mins before it was too late, and that didn’t even stop us from using. He would mix drugs as well. He would get meth and spice behind my back and do all of them and we would argue. It was so so bad. I’ve always been a very religious person. I knew me and tommy were in trouble with our using. I would pray and pray and pray “god please give me the strength to leave and stay away”. I knew tommy was bad for me, and me for him. So why couldn’t I ever leave and stay gone? Little did I know just exactly how my prayers would be answered. I went to mobile to see my family for a week, Tommy stayed behind. I told myself we were done, that I wasn’t gonna go back. I ended up staying in mobile for a month. Tommy was really bad off and I found out he was selling drugs out of our house and using more than ever. He blamed me bc I wouldn’t come back and stuff. I just told him I couldn’t do it any longer that I wanted better. We went about a week straight without talking at all.. he called me on May 3 2018 telling me that I was right. He wanted to come to mobile and see me. He was crying and I had never heard him that upset. So I told him okay… may 3, 2018 around 11:30 pm was the last time I ever heard his voice. He was about to get on the road and head to mobile! I fell asleep and when I woke up around 8 the next morning, I knew something wasn’t right. May 4th around 330 am while on his was to me, Tommy was killed. I blamed myself for so long, that’s when my suing spiraled. I started using heroin more and more and I was no longer snorting it, but using needles. I didn’t care anymore. I got down to 98 pounds, I looked in the mirror and saw death and didn’t even care. If only I wouldn’t have agreed to let him come he wouldn’t have been in that place at that time. I blamed myself every second.. I wasn’t even hiding it from my family anymore. My mom saw my track marks, saw me fading away.. I was so close to giving up. So close. But, I was sitting on the couch with my mom on Oct 7 2018 and looked at my mom and saw tears spiral down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around me so tight, pulled me close and prayed. Told me that she couldn’t stand it anymore and that I needed help. She said “please go get help, I don’t want to have to pick out a casket for my own daughter”.. when she said that, I surrendered all. I did my last shot of heroin on Oct 8, 2018.. on Oct 9, 2018 I went and got help. And I have been completely sober since. There’s much more to my story. Details and way more that I could share. I just want to help people. That’s my calling. People look at me and would never in a million years think I have been through what I have. God showed his grace on me. But there are so many who are 1 more time using away from being a statistic. Thank you for reading my story. I hope to be able to tell you more. Share details and more. There’s so much more. I hope you have a blessed day. Thank you again!!
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